My new BFF
Last Friday at 9:43 I received an email from a talent producer at ESPN asking if I could join Bob Ley four hours later on Outside the Lines. I was standing in line at my bank when I saw the email on my phone, and literally within ten seconds of reading it I was sick to my stomach. I’ve worked hard this fall promoting my book, God and Football (available wherever books are sold), and I’d dreamed of an opportunity like this presenting itself, but when faced with the reality of going on a national television show I was in a word, terrified.
But in the end I decided I would never forgive myself if I ignored the email, so I called back and said I could do the show, and an hour later Bob Ley was calling my house. He told me we would be talking about the Auburn fan reaction to the Cam Newton coverage, while I fought the instinct to Chris Farley him with ‘remember when’ questions.
ESPN was trying to find a studio in Auburn for me to use, but at 12:50 I received a text with a Montgomery address. I was at Tiger Rags at the time, buying an orange tie that would later look very red on television. I replied that I could make it, and hit the road, arriving at the studio ten minutes before show time.
The girl at the desk asked if I usually get powder. Was she talking about cocaine? Does every on television do drugs? Later, when I saw my shiny forehead on the tube, I realized she was talking about makeup. I guess in the end it’s a fair trade to look sweaty on television if you can still say you’ve never worn makeup.
Anyway, they put a little thing in my ear where I could hear Bob Ley, sat me in front of a fake bookshelf, and when the red light came on I was live to the nation. The video is below. I haven’t watched it all yet, it’s just too awkward, but I didn’t vomit on live television, and if I’m being honest, that was my only goal.
